Episode 33: Love Over Fear (featuring Katie Williard)
Updated: Sep 4, 2019
November is National Adoption Month. What do you really know about the adoption process?
If you're like me - the answer is nothing. I knew absolutely NOTHING about what it takes to adopt a child before having this conversation with Katie. I truly appreciate her candor and openness in discussing an extremely personal topic.
Here are three big things I took from the discussion:
1.) Birth mothers can change their minds
I had always thought adoptions were final. You make the decision, sign a paper and there is no going back. Not the case. Each state has different regulations which create varying waiting periods where birth mothers can change their minds and choose to keep the child.
Talk about an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved!
2.) Watch what you say
I constantly put my foot in my mouth. I mean on a regular basis. Sometimes I do not think before speaking and I need to be reminded about personal boundaries.
When it comes to people and their kids - it's best to tread lightly.
Claire and I were barely engaged and people were asking when we would have kids. I never thought twice about it. It was annoying, sure, but it wasn't offensive.
Now imagine you've had issues getting pregnant, you're going through fertility treatments, you're on a waiting list to adopt a baby, etc. - and you get asked that question. Not cool!
Moral of the story - mind your own business. People will let you know when they have news to share of little ones on the way.
3.) We have blinders on
No one talks about adoption.
At least not in my family and friends circle. And absolutely not on a consistent local, regional or National basis. The news does not run stories on the number of children in need of a home. Instead we're more worried about what our elected officials are tweeting about.
From the ethics of how adoptions are regulated and carried out, to the ins and out of how adoptive parents are matched with a mother and child - there is a lot we could be focusing on and raising awareness about. If you take away one thing from this, I hope it's that.
A huge shout out to the entire adoption community
Whether you're an expectant mother who will be giving a family the ultimate gift, the adoptive family ready to open their homes and hearts to a child in need, the social worker diligently evaluating households to ensure the best for all involved, or just a friend or family member giving your support - it really does take a village to raise a child.
Keep being awesome.
Here are links to some of the resources Katie discussed at the end of the episode.
Christian Adoption Consultants - the consulting firm that Katie and Nate used
Mustard Seed Adoptions - another adoption consultant
Kindred + Co - an option adoption community on Instagram
Big Tough Girl - an Instagram account of a birth mother working for other birth mothers
Adopt Well - An educational adoption community on Instagram
And be sure to check out Katie's website - she is working on migrating some blog content to this platform about her family's adoption journey. You can also follow her on Instagram to keep up with her story.